Ah, Thanksgiving. That magical time of year when we gather around a table to share a meal, give thanks, and tiptoe through a minefield of wildly inappropriate conversation topics.
Here’s a helpful list of 10 conversations you should absolutely avoid at Thanksgiving dinner—unless you really want to ruin the mashed potatoes for everyone.
1. Politics (Obviously)
Whether your family leans left, right, or completely off the grid, just… don’t. The turkey is already stuffed—no need to overfill Uncle Larry with rage.
2. Vaccines and/or Conspiracies
Nothing complements sweet potatoes like a debate about microchips and government tracking. Bonus points if someone brings charts.
3. “When Are You Two Having Kids?”
This question is a holiday classic, usually delivered between bites of green bean casserole and soul-crushing awkwardness. Please retire it permanently.
4. Keto, Vegan, and Whatever That Celery Juice Thing Was
No one wants to hear about your cleanse while they’re wrist-deep in gravy. Eat your roll and let the rest of us enjoy carbs in peace.
5. The “Good Old Days” (That Weren’t That Good)
We get it, Grandma. Things cost a nickel, kids respected elders, and no one wore pants “with holes in them.” Let us suffer in stretchy jeans and economic instability in peace.
6. Your Recent Medical Procedure
Please do not pass the colonoscopy details along with the stuffing. There’s a time and place. This is neither.
7. Which Family Member You’re “Worried About”
“Oh, we’re just concerned about Tim.” Translation: gossip is incoming. Spoiler alert: Tim’s fine. He just doesn’t want to come home and explain cryptocurrency again.
8. Crime Shows You’re “Basically an Expert” In
You are not a detective. This is not Dateline. Put down your wine and stop accusing Aunt Carol of “having motive.”
9. Anything That Starts with “Not to Be Rude, But…”
Yes, you are about to be rude. And we all know it.
10. Religion, Unless You’re Blessing the Rolls
A little grace before dinner is fine. A theological debate over pie? Not so much.
So this Thanksgiving, keep it light. Talk about football. Compliment the potatoes. Fake interest in someone’s DIY centerpiece.
Because nothing ruins a holiday quite like turning it into a courtroom drama.
Pass the rolls, not the baggage.
Have you had any awkward Thanksgiving dinner conversations? Let me know about them in the comments below!
