If you’re in Michigan right now, odds are your face froze somewhere between your front door and your car. Temps in the single digits? Wind chills that make your bones question their life choices? Yep, sounds about right.
But instead of whining about the weather (again), let’s embrace the tundra! Here are ten “fun” and slightly absurd things to do when it’s so cold your eyelashes freeze together:
1. Start Your Car From Inside the House… and Feel Like a Tech Genius
Remote start? Congratulations, you’re basically Iron Man. You didn’t even have to put on pants to warm the car. You’ve peaked.
2. Step Outside for 0.3 Seconds and Feel Like an Arctic Explorer
Walk to your mailbox and pretend you’re trekking the last mile to the North Pole. Bonus points if you narrate it in a dramatic British accent.
3. Leave Your Drinks in the Car and Save Fridge Space
Who needs a cooler? Just chuck your soda, milk, or questionable leftover casserole in the backseat. It’s nature’s walk-in freezer out there.
4. See Your Dog Try to “Hold It” for 48 Hours
Watch the internal battle unfold as your dog debates whether going outside is really worth it. Spoiler: it isn’t. Better grab that pee pad.
5. Make “Snow Frappes” with the Snow on Your Porch Rail
Just add syrup and pretend you’re a barista with frostbite.
6. Host a Fashion Show Featuring Every Article of Clothing You Own
You’ll look like a marshmallow with abandonment issues, but at least your core temperature stays above freezing.
7. Shovel for 30 Minutes, Then Treat Yourself Like You Just Ran a Marathon
Burned 300 calories? Maybe. Deserve a donut the size of your head? Absolutely.
8. Scream into the Cold Just to See the Steam
It’s therapeutic and visually dramatic. Bonus points if you quote a movie while doing it: “You can’t handle the truth!”
9. See Who Can Last the Longest Without Touching the Thermostat
It’s like Survivor, but with more passive-aggressive blanket hoarding.
10. Remember This Is All “Character Building”
Because nothing builds character like frozen nostrils, cracked knuckles, and wondering if your car will start… ever again.
Final Thoughts
Sure, it’s colder than your ex’s heart out there. But we Michiganders are tough. We thrive in snowstorms, we laugh at wind chills, and we’ll complain anyway — but we’ll do it with sarcasm, layered flannel, and a donut in hand.
Stay warm out there, friends. Spring is only… checks calendar… several emotional breakdowns away.
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